“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Self help articles:

This is mainly a list of articles I have written intended to be helpful or thought-provoking with regards to the many personal emotional and interpersonal challenges and issues we may face. I may also add helpful links from time to time. This page is updated with new articles periodically. I hope this may be of some help.
Enjoy.
Cindy Trevitt, RPC, MPCC

“Malcolm Gladwell on turning struggles into strength”
How do some people use their disadvantages as advantages? How does the so-called weaker party win more often than you think and why? And the surprisingly common childhood battles of successful people. These points are explored in a re-release of a very interesting podcast on CBC’s radio program, Writer’s and Company where Eleanor Wachtel interviews Malcolm Gladwell who discusses turning struggles into strength, from his book David and Goliath.

Have a listen (1.25 hours):

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/writersandcompany/malcolm-gladwell-on-turning-struggles-into-strength-1.2790897

“Why won’t he apologize?”
This is a TEDxKC talk, presented by Harriet Lerner, about criticism, defensiveness and apologies.

“You know that feeling that you’re absolutely right and the other person just doesn’t get it…” is how this short (13 minutes) but very insightful, lighthearted at times, sad and humbling TED talk goes. She talks of the moral high horse we get on when challenging someone; their defensiveness and empty apologies. I take this to apply to all genders and going both ways. “Angry confrontations only invite the other person to see you as the problem.”

Presented by Harriet Lerner, the author of many best selling books such as The Dance of Anger and now, her newest, Why won’t you apologize?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5r6Y9uhmL6Y&feature=youtu.be

Indecision
Indecision – are you comfortably stuck or stuck uncomfortably?

Defensiveness
The avoidant, self-centred side of defensiveness and the toll it takes on relationships.

When someone lets you down, do you blame or get angry with yourself?
When someone lets you down, do you blame or get angry with yourself?

Regret
Regret – What it is and why and how we should face it.

The False Self
The false self – why we’re putting on an act.

Winter Blues
All of nature is at peace

Live and Let Live
Live and let live – how to be free within a relationship

The Double Bind
The Double Bind – a rock and a hard place.

You’re a beautiful mess
You’re a beautiful mess…embrace the colourful disarray that you are.

What you should want
What you should want – a look at our objective beliefs and our subjective desires.

It’s not just you
It’s not just you – we are all misfits!

Love and Attachments
Love & attachments – a few musings on the nature of our bonds.

Perfectionism
Perfectionism – How to overcome it and find satisfaction in yourself.

Invisible Shackles
Invisible Shackles of our minds… A belief system that keeps us down when we’re capable of helping ourselves overcome obstacles and thrive.

People Pleasing
People pleasing – why we do it and what we can do to change it!

Catastrophizing
A look at how some of us make disasters out of everything and how it makes our lives miserable!

Self Awareness
A look inside to see how you think and feel and why you make the choices you do.

How to be a Good Listener
How to be a good listener – the art of empathy.

How to be yourself and like it!
A look at self-acceptance and ways to conquer some of those negative self-messages.

Why people lie
A look at the motivations behind lying.

Demonization
Demonization – a look at how we make people seem bigger and uglier than they really are.

Relationships
Here are a few tips for the troubled couple – also good for friendships, family and many other relatioships!

Boundaries
Boundaries – what are they and how do we defend them?

Impermanence
Impermanence…we’re just visiting.

Hopefulness
A few musings on hope, denial and how the two can play a role in our lives.

How to tame you inner critic
We all have this inner nagging voice that fills us with doubt, criticizes our words, actions and feelings but what can we do about it? Here are a few tips on dealing with your demons!

Procrastination
¡Mañana Resultará Peor! (Spanish), Tomorrow it will be worse! (English)

Independent Thinking
Many people aren’t aware of the millions of choices they’re making in their lives and how they are impacted by them. Here’s some tips on how to become a freethinker.

Anxiety
Anxiety! We all feel it – some far more than others. A little about what it is and some tips on dealing with it.

Nonviolent Communication
Learn about an age old communication method that brings assertiveness to a deeper, more compassionate and peaceful level.

Assertiveness
There are four primary communication types: Passive; Passive-Aggressive; Aggressive and Assertive. Which one are you? Learn some tips on increasing how you speak directly and genuinely and increase your self-worth.

Dark Nights of the Soul & A Good Night’s Sleep
In everyone’s life there are times when things seem so very dark and bleak and we live in a world that only encourages us to be happy. But that needn’t be the way. Sometimes we need a little rest and reflection and time to be blue to learn and grow and begin again on a whole new level.

Soul Callings
Unhappy? Unfulfilled? Your soul may be calling to you to find your true self. Here are a few steps to help you begin to find self-acceptance, live in the present and find your authentic self.

Cindy Trevitt is a Registered Professional Counsellor (RPC) & Master Practitioner in Clinical Counselling (MPCC), with a private practice in Vancouver since 2005.